[ The frost is worrisome and yet... Riku can understand why it's there. His own ice has chilled him from the inside, the weight of it pushing through his body like shards of glass forcing their way through his veins. It's numbing, a means to try and freeze over any sort of emotion, be it good or bad. To just simply not feel anything anymore, especially in the moment. He knows this, he's done it so many times himself and yet to think that it might be happening to Ven, that Ven might think this is necessary to him or a fault of his for simply being who he is aside from who he "should be" in Riku's eyes...
...it is his fault.
That thought alone causes fingers to curl against the shoulder, cracking the frost that gently touches his knuckles and for his head to bow, eyes falling shut, strands of silver falling in front of his face.
Why can't he... why can't he do the right thing for once? Why can't he just accept his soulmate and this bond that pulls them together- that has pulled them together right here by the lighthouse? Why can't he be like everyone else who so freely and willingly accepts this without question? Even Sora accepted his own soulmate, reassuring Riku that he would find his own and be happy with them, not even realizing how much those words hurt to hear from him. Why is he like this? Why is he so difficult? Why is the need to reassure Ven throbbing against the inside of his wrist? ]
I want to fight this so bad. [ Softly, he admits, figuring that Ven probably knows. ] I don't want to be drawn to you. I don't want some mark on the inside of my wrist to dictate who I should and shouldn't love. I don't want to be forced to be with someone who doesn't deserve to put up with me.
[ Fingers clutch at that shoulder still and there's silence that falls over them in the moment, teeth dragging over his lower lip. ]
But it hurts. [ Another soft admission, he lifts his head, enough to look through strands of silver and see the way his mark burns on the inside of his wrist as he clutches at Ven's shoulder. ] It hurts so much to see you this way, to be away from you, to know that I do this to you.
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...it is his fault.
That thought alone causes fingers to curl against the shoulder, cracking the frost that gently touches his knuckles and for his head to bow, eyes falling shut, strands of silver falling in front of his face.
Why can't he... why can't he do the right thing for once? Why can't he just accept his soulmate and this bond that pulls them together- that has pulled them together right here by the lighthouse? Why can't he be like everyone else who so freely and willingly accepts this without question? Even Sora accepted his own soulmate, reassuring Riku that he would find his own and be happy with them, not even realizing how much those words hurt to hear from him. Why is he like this? Why is he so difficult? Why is the need to reassure Ven throbbing against the inside of his wrist? ]
I want to fight this so bad. [ Softly, he admits, figuring that Ven probably knows. ] I don't want to be drawn to you. I don't want some mark on the inside of my wrist to dictate who I should and shouldn't love. I don't want to be forced to be with someone who doesn't deserve to put up with me.
[ Fingers clutch at that shoulder still and there's silence that falls over them in the moment, teeth dragging over his lower lip. ]
But it hurts. [ Another soft admission, he lifts his head, enough to look through strands of silver and see the way his mark burns on the inside of his wrist as he clutches at Ven's shoulder. ] It hurts so much to see you this way, to be away from you, to know that I do this to you.